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Have you ever blamed the church?

I have.

It used to be my go-to response to the ills of society. Abortion, drug addiction, poverty, pornography…no matter the issue, my response was, “If only pastors addressed these topics from the pulpit. If only churches had ministries to help those hurting and in need. If there’s a problem, then the church must fix it.”

I was wrong.

It took a gentle conviction by the Holy Spirit to whisper in my ear, “Julie, you are my church. Do your part.”

Ouch, that hurt. But that nudge gave me the right perspective I needed.

I was so busy blaming the church as a whole that I failed to realize I was doing very little myself to be the light of Christ to those around me. Matthew 5:14 says, “You [me!] are the light of the world.”

I preface this for this last part of this blog series. Susan has let us into her family’s struggle with her daughter’s transgender identity. If you are reading this for the first time, you can read from the beginning here, here, and here.

I have asked Susan how we, as Christians and the church, should respond to the transgender issue. I encourage you—the reader— not to take a critical reaction to “the church” or your place of worship. But to see yourself as the body of Christ in how to respond and be a light in an increasingly dark world. Sometimes all it takes is one person to magnify that light and to embolden a church community to respond biblically and compassionately to a family or person in need.

From your perspective, where is the church on this issue regarding transgenderism?

The LGBTQ issues that society is dealing with today are usually handled in two different ways in the church community. Either they attack it with anger and fury from behind the pulpit, or it is taboo and not spoken of. Neither of these is a healthy balance. Many behind the pulpit preach anger because they feel out of control or uncomfortable with the subject. Of course, there are probably churches with a balanced approach, but I haven’t found them.

The heart of the struggle for us was that we felt so totally isolated and alone. Although it may not be that way for some people, as Christian parents, we knew the only way for us to approach this issue with our daughter was according to God’s will. We are no longer part of an organized church but are involved with a small group of believers that meet together several times a week. We opened up to our small group only because we knew them well enough to trust them with our situation. We share this heartache and pray for one another.

But to be quite honest, none of the people or church leadership from any of our former organized churches knows anything about what we are dealing with, and I am quite happy to keep it that way. My “mama bear” comes out even thinking about the possibility of Grace having to deal with the trauma of rejection by the church.  I truly believe that most people dealing with any of the issues surrounding the LGBTQ lifestyle live their life daily EXPECTING to be attacked by the church, not loved as Jesus would love. “Just cast the demons out of them; they will be fine” seems to be the motto of those we once worshipped with.

How should the church respond in a balanced way?

Churches can’t take a strong, forceful approach in dealing with the LGBTQ because that is what they are expecting those in the church to do.  If we kick them out or shun them, start looking over the obituaries because you’ll probably see some familiar faces that have passed through your doors. I’ve been there, done that.  It hurts, and it still stings when I hear of others experiencing the same thing. Where is God in this equation? It seems they are doing all the work for the Holy Spirit and leaving very little room for genuine conviction and repentance.

Yes, the Bible tells us it is a sin. But it doesn’t tell us this in a hateful way. So many people are being wounded with the bullets that come out from behind the pulpits and platforms. If we preach to the congregation as if EVERYONE was wounded and personally dealing with that particular issue, it might be dealt with in love and compassion.

Please understand, I don’t condone this lifestyle, and I can only speak from our personal experience. But quite honestly, our personal experience and way of dealing with this is difficult, but there is progress. Grace expects rejection, and she will walk away from rejection. She will turn to where she is celebrated. We couldn’t blast her with things like her lifestyle is taking her to hell or that she is out of God’s will, etc. She knows we don’t approve and that we will never compromise our faith and beliefs. However, we have finally won her trust, and she listens. She has begun to bend. She is acknowledging that she is worthy of God’s unconditional love. And He is showing her in HUGE ways that He loves her.

But when you have to deal with it first hand in your family, with your child, perspective changes drastically. God told us, “With love and gentleness, she will be won over.” The hardest thing was to let go and let God. He knows Grace better than anyone on this earth. He knows her innermost thoughts and torments and knows exactly how and when to deal with them. How much better would it be if the church would follow this instead of rushing in trying to fix everything because it’s an embarrassment and a smear on the face of God.

Grace isn’t an embarrassment to God. She doesn’t make Him look bad. God doesn’t need our help defending His reputation. He chooses the foolish to confound the wise. But as long as we cater to the “wise” (or rich, influential, or famous), we can’t heal the wounded. The wounded are our greatest warriors. And that’s what we’ve been doing with Grace, showing her the value of her life, God’s love, and allowing the Holy Spirit to do the work.

I’ve made some mistakes along the way, especially when we first began to deal with Grace’s problems a few years ago. These mistakes cost us trust, respect, and open communication with her. She is still fearful that we may make those mistakes again, but I had to apologize many times over to her and gain her trust. She is still the walking wounded from many situations. But she is more open in her communication with us and has made such progress.  However, I had to admit that I made those mistakes and regret the hurt and fear I caused her. Maybe this is what we need in the church?

What is your advice to a parent or the Christian community to understand how to minister to someone struggling with transgender identity?

It can only be approached with true agape love. I don’t think I could have helped anyone dealing with this because I didn’t have the experience of loving a beautiful soul like Grace as intensely as I do. Seeing her pain and confusion broke my heart. God is near to those with a broken and contrite heart. I didn’t know where to turn at the beginning of this journey. We kept it to ourselves for over a year. There was no help available, so we had to create our own support… to cry out to God for guidance. It took many late nights praying and quite a bit of pen to paper writing notes and things God would tell me. There are still times when the sting of reality hurts, but these are the key points we gained:

  • Love her unconditionally
  • God is in control and resist the temptation to “fix” things (be still and know He is God)
  • With love and gentleness, she will be redeemed from this
  • Respond, never react
  • Listen to the Holy Spirit, speak when He says speak, and be quiet when He says to be quiet
  • Give Him all the glory for even the small victories

Giving God the control was the biggest struggle for me personally. And to be quite honest, at first, I was ashamed that this was in our family. After all, how could “this” happen to our family?  We were the Norman Rockwell family that was in church every time the doors were open. I wanted to fix it fast, sweep it away and put it under the rug. It took Grace’s two suicide attempts to realize that it wasn’t going to go away and that we could lose our daughter permanently if we didn’t change our way of thinking.  I think it’s a big thing with most parents dealing with this too. They want to bypass faith and trust in the Lord and get their child fixed and fixed quickly. But God’s timing isn’t our timing.  And I truly feel that as parents, we need to submit to God’s process to mature ourselves and become more like Him with our love.

I’d also say to the church community and to people who are NOT dealing personally with this issue in their child, don’t ever think it won’t happen to you. But if a friend comes to you in confidence with this issue, listen first. Then pray for wisdom, peace, and guidance. Honestly, it just helps us to unload this HUGE burden somewhere safe.  And I emphasize the word “safe.” Please don’t take it to other friends, your pastor, and your extended family members who might know how to help. When we first go to someone because we need to talk, it’s because we see you as someone we can trust with the biggest, scariest secret we have ever had to deal with. The easiest way to destroy someone’s life is to break confidence. When we first talked about our situation with Grace, we didn’t want advice. We just couldn’t take the burden any longer. And they listened, prayed, and cried with us. And we felt much better afterward. That’s when things began to change.

For the parents who are dealing with it? Love them unconditionally. Trust God. Pray for Him to bring you someone with whom you can share your burdens. Very important—guard your child’s mental health. The torment their minds go through is unbelievable, and the online community just adds fuel to this fire. The LBGTQ goes where they find acceptance and approval. They have been fed a lie that if you don’t approve or accept their lifestyle, you just can’t love them. Be prepared to hear some hard things from your child, but don’t react. Just respond. Ask them if they just want to unload and talk or if they want your input. Be gentle. Be kind. You want your child to come to you, not to the online community. They have to trust you, just like you need to have someone you trust and confide in.

Lastly, I just want to encourage parents going through this that God knows your heartache over your child. He knows their torment. God trusted you to parent your child’s beautiful soul. He knew you were strong enough to believe HE could change their heart. Trust Him! He is all that matters: His love, His purpose, His glory!

Thanks for listening,

Susan

 

 

 

 

 

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“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

This quote by C.S. Lewis is one of my favorites. As soon as you hold that beautiful baby in your arms, you realize what truly matters. The birth of a child puts a whole new spin on life’s objectives. When children are young, this quote seems to center around the busyness of parenting and surviving the long nights of feeding, rocking to sleep, and each milestone in a child’s life.

But what about the difficult times of parenting as your children get older? What about Susan, who faces the struggle of her daughter’s self-diagnosed gender dysphoria? A mother who painstakingly watches as her daughter begins to change her physical appearance from female to male. The depression, the attempted suicides… that word “important” takes on a whole new meaning as a parent.

The following is more of Susan’s story. It addresses an issue I highlighted in my introduction that you can read—> Here.  Susan’s words are block quoted, and I’ve changed her daughter’s name to protect her anonymity.

Grace

Thanks for listening to my story. Just telling it is healing therapy in and of itself. This journey that we’ve been on the past few years with Grace has been a roller coaster of extremes but has caused us to grow tremendously in Christ.  

Our daughter was born in 2000. Grace lived life 110% when she was younger. Although she was technically an introvert, she was daring and full of laughter, always playing pranks on people and never afraid to try new things.  Whatever the event, Grace was there participating. Of course, things would get overwhelming for her as an introvert and she would need some down time by herself from time to time.

She accepted Jesus in her heart at 5, and baptized at age 6 with full knowledge of what it symbolized and what she was doing

Exposure and Agenda

When she was 11 we began to homeschool Grace.  I can’t pinpoint when the change began to happen but she needed to be online more to do school work. This has always been the point where I felt she was exposed to this agenda. She did some inappropriate things online and via text (before the Snapchat era) that we caught and thought were corrected. 

On her 18th birthday, we took her to dinner and to the mall to celebrate.  She came back with a book entitled This Book is Gay. At that moment, I knew something was up and I had confirmation to some suspicions.  Everything kind of snowballed from there and it was a huge blur for several months. An online, long-distance relationship with a girl who lives over 1,000 miles away, secretly cutting herself, and two failed suicide attempts. 

The pinnacle was the day when two sheriff’s deputies showed up at our door on a Sunday night.  They received a report from The Trevor Project hotline about a 19-year-old male who lost their connection to the hotline’s suicide prevention chat room and they traced it to our ISP.  She was upset and got disconnected but they were concerned and sent the deputies.  Of course, they wouldn’t just let it go, and we were waiting until 3am for a crisis intervention team to come.  When she found out that she would be deprived of her phone and laptop if she were to go to the hospital, she said she would be fine.  About a month later, she tried [suicide] again, but got scared and called the crisis intervention team herself.

The next day we went to a crisis mental health center and began to try to sort through the mental health maze.  At this point, I must most emphatically state that I did NOT know that there were at least ten different gender identities she could choose from on the intake form!  Wow, I went into shock.

She walked in the first session and told the counselor she had gender dysphoria and was transgender and the counselor handed her a stack of LGBTQ literature with groups, clinics, etc. It was a scary, intimidating place. The spiritual atmosphere there was very dark and there were questions on the forms we were trying to fill out that were very leading in support of the LGBTQ lifestyle. It didn’t take a great deal of intelligence to see where this was going. Grace was terrified and very uncomfortable but things had gone too far. Her anxiety and depression spiraled out of control. She felt worse after each session, even though she was on Cymbalta and Risperdone. (We tried many meds before finding something that didn’t cause hallucinations). We stayed on that secular counseling course for about five months. 

Irony

One day, Grace heard an advertisement for Christian counseling on the Christian radio station she plays all night while she sleeps (ironic, huh?). She asked me if we could try it.  Grace is a very spiritual person even though she is going through this right now.  She wanted to go in person to make an appointment instead of calling because she needed to feel the atmosphere there before making an appointment. The minute we walked in, she felt peace. Her therapist is soft spoken just like Grace and makes her comfortable.  And she is making progress.  For the first time, she finally admitted she felt she was getting better.  This has never happened before.

One thing I want to mention is the irony of some of the things she does.  She ordered some clothes online.  She went to try them on and came out wearing a skirt, frilly blouse and suspenders and a cute hat and earrings.  Totally girly.  However, yesterday she went to have her hair cut.  I mean a drastic cut.  Like the kind of haircut we give our boys the day they get out of school for the summer type of haircut. My heart is breaking, but God is faithful.  I miss the beautiful curls.  

Unconditional Love

Some time ago, I saw an interview on Joni Lamb’s Table Talk with Joe Dallas. It was part of a series of sexual identity that turned my world “right-side-up” again. This was where I learned how to love Grace through this journey. So this morning I felt led to look through my recordings of Table Talk and saw an interview with Joe Dallas was on again and I tuned in.  Must have been a programming change, because it was a series called “Identity” that has run all this week and this episode wasn’t with Joe.

The episode I watched was an interview with a woman who had embraced the trans lifestyle and transformed herself into a gangster-style young man (no surgery, just binding and clothing). She talked about how the unconditional love of her mother toward her and her friends was key in showing her the unconditional love of God. How my heart just soared when I heard that! I believed long ago that we have been taken on this journey to reach young people who have been deceived into this lifestyle.  My takeaway from this morning after listening to their testimony:

  • When facing rejection from “the church”, these people are searching for love and acceptance. The LGBTQ community is waiting with open arms to draw them in, to recruit them.

  • Not only are they recruiting the vulnerable, they are actively recruiting anyone that is even slightly weak in any spiritual area.

  • They are spreading a propaganda that promotes the idea “if they don’t accept or approve of what you are doing, they don’t “love you”. The one thing that Joe Dallas said that changed my life is that approval and love do not have to go hand-in-hand. For example, I don’t have to approve of my husband’s woefully unsocial habit in order to love him. I love him more than ever and wouldn’t ever think of leaving him because he has an embarrassing habit that I most emphatically do not accept or approve of. God’s love transcends all of that!

  • Words carry great weight. What we speak to people and/or what is spoken over them carries a great deal of weight in their lives. I’ve never realized the impact of that statement more than I do at this time of my life. There are words I’ve spoken that I am seeing still have an impact on those around me, and words that have been spoken to me that still have an impact in my life. I know God is greater than that, but it will be a journey to overcome them.

  • Lastly, this will be a journey with our family, with Grace. It won’t be an instant fix, but it will be a complete and thorough transformation. I am believing that God will totally transform her life into a testimony for those who are following behind her. 

THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. WORK

Susan’s story will continue on my blog. I don’t know who is reading this, but for those going through a similar struggle or maybe different yet still painful, remember God’s unconditional love for you is right where your heart needs to be for your child. But don’t give in to the lies. The world is screaming right now that loving your child is to accept their transgender identity. Extending compassion is not the same thing as giving in to your child’s demands that you know will ultimately harm them. As Susan has learned, approval and love do not have to go hand-in-hand. It’s difficult. It’s messy and painful. But God gifted you with a beautiful bundle of joy. He or she is still that gift created in God’s image. This is the most important work of your life. God chose you to parent your child. Love them unconditionally but protect them. Trust God.  And as Susan reminds us, “Resist the urge to ‘fix’ things. Be still and know that He is God.” (Psalm 46:10)

More to come…

Subscribe to my website to read more of Susan’s story.

 

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In my small corner of the social media world, I open my page to my writing, favorite quotes, or even an article that strikes me as important enough to share. Last summer, I posted about the growing phenomenon of teenage girls being seduced into the world of transgenderism. It was an article that highlighted Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters.

Shrier’s book should be a must-read for every parent. It’s one of those books that awakens you to a world you might not have realized existed or maybe that you think won’t touch you or your family—until one day it does.

The reality is more and more of our daughters want to be our sons, and what do we do about it?

They call it gender dysphoria—girls (or boys) who feel trapped in the wrong body. Online influencers say, “Do it! Take those puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, or surgically remove your breasts. You’ll feel, oh, so better about yourself.” The medical community hands out hormone prescriptions to minors without parental consent. Their daughters start to grow facial hair, and their voices begin to change. Counselors are told conversion therapy is discrimination and “to help” these biological girls embrace their new transgender identity. Schools allow students to live a double life. A girl and daughter at home, but, shhh, we won’t tell, a transgender male with matching pronouns at school.

Parents feel alone and isolated. Read Shrier’s book. It is full of parent regret stories of watching their little girls grow up with mutilated adult bodies that never quite look male. Suppose this trend is social contagion influenced by peers. In that case, there’s proof our society is looking the other way and enabling our girls to be fragmented pieces of their true biological selves, with infertility to boot.

The more I read about this growing craze of adolescent girls going to drastic measures to deny their biological sex, the more I felt the spiritual battle in our society. This isn’t about mental illness, anxiety, or depression; although, I think those are all contributing factors. It’s about the spirit of darkness that will do anything to destroy life and deny the power of Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

There’s so much power in that phrase “in the image of God” that Satan will distort and deceive to destroy who God has created. He does it with abortion, drug addiction, eating disorders, sexual addiction, and now something increasingly written about in medical journals and news articles—gender dysphoria.

On my blog, I invite you to read about the transgender issue through a mother’s eyes. Susan (not her real name) is a Christian mom just like me and maybe just like you. She reached out to me when I posted the article last summer. Her comment on Facebook invited me into her world:

“It’s real [gender dysphoria], and not just with girls in schools influenced by their friends. My beautiful, joy-filled, homeschooled daughter slowly fell victim to this after being exposed online. At thirteen she began using the internet more frequently for schoolwork and her joy, her light and her entire personality changed. Two suicide attempts and many cutting sessions later, we have found a Christian therapist who is just now beginning to peel away the layers of her self-diagnosed gender dysphoria. Our hearts break when we have to dispense her medicine for anxiety/depression because she can’t be trusted with a full bottle of any type of pills. I cried for days when she changed her name tag at work to her chosen male name. I know it sounds petty, but I thank God she can’t afford transition drugs. It’s real, oh my dear God, it’s SO REAL! And we had no reference point as to what was happening…until I read this article this morning. Thank you for posting, Julie.”

For the last six months, I have read Susan’s emails to me. She’s a writer too, who has let me into her family’s agonizing struggle. As a parent, my heart aches with every pain she conveys over her daughter’s desire to be a boy. Then an email comes through with a hint of a possible breakthrough, and I want to celebrate the small victory that might lead to total freedom from her daughter’s gender dysphoria.

Susan and I also share something that is not conveyed on the pages of Abigail Shrier’s book. We have a firm belief in the transforming power of Jesus Christ. The chains of gender dysphoria can be broken, and her daughter can be set free. We know that. We pray for it daily! There’s a spiritual battle going on in her home. Many other families are going through this same battle, but they are not letting people in because it’s a new phenomenon and it’s scary. How do we maneuver as Christians with this one, Lord? Our daughters are suffering.

Susan has agreed to let you into her world through my platform as a writer. This is something that I have prayed about and asked the Holy Spirit for direction. I feel God has called me to share other people’s stories. Susan feels ready to share her heart on the pages of my blog. She’s vetted me as a writer, and I have vetted her story as much as I can while understanding that the need to remain anonymous and shield her family is extremely important. “It’s so good to finally be able to share our story, even though we’re still in the midst of the battle,” Susan acknowledges. “The world needs to know!”

This is the introduction to a series that I will post about Susan’s journey through her daughter’s gender identity struggle. I ask that you share it wherever you can. If you know a parent dealing with this issue, please share. If you are a youth leader or a pastor, please read. Gender dysphoria might not be an issue that has reached your congregation, but I guarantee you it will. Our society is embracing and celebrating transgenderism at an alarming rate, and it is destroying lives. We need to be united and grounded in Scripture to fight this spiritual battle with our brothers and sisters in Christ. “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26-27, ESV)

I pray God uses both Susan’s words and mine to honor Christ and that chains will be broken. Our children’s lives depend on it.

More to come…

 

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In advance of the election, many faith leaders weighed in with their opinions about the presidential candidates. Abortion was a focus of many articles, tweets, and videos. As Christians who embrace the sanctity of life of the unborn, we were faced with two candidates with opposing abortion beliefs: protecting life in the womb or expanding elective abortion up to 40 weeks of pregnancy and even infanticide. The choice seemed clear, yet many faith leaders added their nuanced positions regarding the candidates.

What is the church to do with or think about these diverse opinions from prominent pastors and faith leaders, many of whom we trust for their spiritual counsel?

Although, at times, we do need biblical guidance from pastors and Christian leaders, what is often neglected are the perspectives of those who have experienced the pain of abortion, who have worked in abortion clinics, and those on the frontlines in pregnancy centers who counsel women and men, daily, facing the crisis of an unplanned pregnancy.

Are faith leaders willing to step down from their pulpits and open space on their platforms to highlight these voices?

Kelly Lester’s Voice

Kelly was a freshman in high school when she snuck out in the middle of the night to attend a party with friends. After years of being bullied and teased in school, Kelly was finally finding acceptance in certain social circles. It was her first party. But, by the end of that night, she was raped by one of the most popular guys in school.

The next day was Sunday. Kelly got up and attended church with her family. She needed to confide to someone the tragic events of the night before. Her youth pastor was someone she felt she could trust. “See, if you had never snuck out, gone to that party, and gotten drunk, that would never have happened,” her youth leader coldly responded. That comment cut Kelly so deep with shame and condemnation that, at that moment, she questioned how God could ever love her. From that day forward, the church was not a place to fail or make a mistake, and it was not a safe place for Kelly Lester.

Freely giving away what was taken from her, Kelly then found herself pregnant at fifteen. Her boyfriend’s mother drove her to an abortion clinic, placed a wad of cash in her hand, and sent her into the clinic alone.

“That day changed my life,” Kelly remembers. “They say pregnancy can ruin your life, but that day—in the abortion clinic—ruined my life.”

During the next fifteen years, Kelly would spiral into the deepest pit of her life: drug and alcohol addiction, anorexia, suicide attempts, feeding the depths of her pain with men and sex, and regretfully three more abortions.

Lost Moments

On that Sunday, when the youth leader condemned Kelly rather than biblically counseling and loving her through her trauma, it was a lost moment for that church and pastor. “Many of the decisions I made after that day was my search for a safe place,” Kelly admits. “Looking for that guy who would protect me. Working at an abortion clinic wanting to help women find a safe place to help them with what I had experienced. People in crisis form their own safety nets no matter if it is a net that surrounds them in sin and dysfunction.”

For fifteen years, Kelly believed that the church was not a place of safety. According to a Pew Research study, in 2019, only 4% of sermons shared online on U.S. church websites discussed abortion. And if they did address the topic, it was rarely mentioned again. It’s a sad commentary on the state of the evangelical pulpit when it’s estimated that two out of every five abortions happen to women who attend church.

The influx of Christian voices regarding the election only seemed to heighten the tensions around the political issue of abortion. On a post-election podcast, “Veggie Tales” creator Phil Vischer stated the following:

But Kelly Lester disagrees with Vischer, “If Biden wins, the church needs to vocally advocate for the unborn, religious liberty, the immigrant, the refugee, the poor, civility, and honesty. If Trump wins, the church needs to vocally advocate for the unborn, religious liberty, the immigrant, the refugee, the poor, civility, and honesty. The common denominator is: The church needs to stop expecting the government to be the church.”

Elections are important, and as Christians, we should vote our biblical values that protect the sanctity of life in the womb, but at the end of the day, it is your community and church that makes the most difference.

David French recently wrote about the importance of local engagement and how we often put more importance on national politics within the pro-life community: “We’re most passionate about the president. Yet too many of us are less interested in the crisis pregnancy center down the street. Without forsaking national politics, we can reverse that intensity, and if we reverse that intensity through loving, intentional outreach, we will reinforce the very decision the data and our experience tells us a woman wants to make.”

Are we losing critical moments because too many faith leaders add their voices to national politics without highlighting the role of the local church and pregnancy resource centers?  Are we losing young women from our congregations because the church does not talk about abortion or provide a safety net in crisis?

It’s Time to Wash Feet

“It’s easy for people to make a hypothesis regarding abortion. But when you have lived it, you don’t have to hypothesize about these things,” Kelly acknowledges. “It’s not a political issue or a moral issue, but a real woman’s life, where she is trying to figure out how she is going to make it to the next day. When you understand that, it changes your perspective.”

God has given many prominent faith leaders public platforms to share biblical wisdom over political and moral issues. But what if they shared their pulpits to highlight testimonies like Kelly Lester’s that speak directly about abortion from personal experience.

Planned Parenthood, the largest provider of abortions, uses words on their website like ‘safe,’ ‘safety net,’ ‘care,’ and ‘support’ because women in crisis are searching for that safe place. As followers of Christ, we can be that place of refuge through our words, the care we provide, and by sharing the gospel that brings life.

“Being a safe place does not mean we allow people to stay in their sin. That’s not safe either,” admits Kelly. “Sin brings death and destruction, but the gospel of Jesus Christ brings about a heart change. If the church is not a refuge for those in crisis, the thousands in our pews won’t feel safe sharing their dark secret of abortion that has haunted many of them for decades. Some of these men and women sing in our choirs and even preach in our pulpits. Shame has kept them silent for too long. If the enemy can’t have your life, he will try and steal your identity in shame.”

Today, Kelly Lester walks in freedom from addiction and her past abortions because she chose to walk into the safe arms of her Savior, Jesus Christ. She is a wife and mother of six beautiful children. God redeemed that lost moment in her life, and she embraces Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

In this post-election season, Kelly’s voice is a message of hope, “Church, it is time to stop pointing fingers and start washing feet. As Christ-followers, we are called to fill in the missing gaps that no election result will fill. Because those gaps are in people’s hearts, and they can only be filled with the hope of Jesus Christ.”

The presidential election may bring further challenges for the pro-life community, but our mission to protect life does not change. Your church, community, and local pregnancy resource center is where the safety net resides. Let’s highlight the voices who can speak life into our friends, neighbors, and our congregations.

 

To book Kelly Lester for a speaking event contact media@prolove.com and follow her on Facebook @kellylesterforlife.

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While reading Alisa Childers’ book, Another Gospel? A Lifelong Christian Seeks Truth in Response to Progressive Christianity I had a Jerry Maguire ‘you-had-me-at-hello’ moment in the first chapter.

“Maybe you’re a Christian who feels alone in your beliefs,” she wrote.

I wanted to raise my hand high as if I were a student in her classroom. That’s me! Here I am! I feel alone right now in my beliefs among Christians.

I read on.

Twitter War

My loneliness started a few years ago on Twitter. I was following a Christian author I respected both for her bold viewpoints and her writing. One day she posted something about racism in the church, and I commented. My remarks were taken out of context, but instead of engaging me to clarify, she replied in opposition and retweeted my comment to her ten thousand plus followers.

Throughout the day, I heard the ping of another reply. Her followers were staging a Twitter coup against me. Instead of responding to explain, I decided to let it go. It would eventually die down.

When the comments began to claim I was a racist, I fought back. I went right to the source and called the respected author out for her reactionary retweet. “If you disagreed with me, why did you feel the need to notify all your followers?” I asked. She stumbled a bit in her reply. I tried to clarify my position, but the damage was done. I felt embarrassed, not for my original comment, but for how she publicly called me out. To her credit, she removed the tweet and we moved on. But it still stung.

What I didn’t understand then, was that I was facing a growing ideology in the progressive Christian world called critical race theory. My comment pointed toward the historical Christian definition of sin when dealing with racism. But the progressive view leans toward systemic oppression in the church. As Childers points out, “According to historic Christianity, sin against a holy God is what’s wrong with the world. According to critical theory, oppression is what’s wrong… fixed by activism, raised awareness, and the overthrow of oppressive systems and their power.”

I suddenly came face-to-face with the reality that the Cross was not enough in dealing with the sin of racism for some Christ-followers. And I felt like a social outcast in a Christian community.

Books, Bible Studies, and Personalities

For some time, I was feeling this shift in Christendom, but it was difficult to articulate. I would read or listen to something that didn’t align with Scripture from a favorite Christian leader and suddenly feel a lump in my throat. Then a Holy Spirit tug. Search the scriptures, Julie. Know what you believe and why. Seek me through the questions and doubts.

The Christian community was separating from me. It wasn’t a physical disconnect, but spiritually, I found myself at odds with some very mainstream Christian pastors, writers, and speakers. The Christian books that were becoming bestsellers read like a false gospel to me.

I know that to be a Christ-follower is about the words of Jesus to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24, NIV) But I read books that seemed to compel Christian women to embrace a type of ‘God girl-power’ that made Christianity into some sort of infomercial. Just tap into the God who will make all your dreams come true.

Even my favorite Bible Study leaders seemed to be drifting toward activism instead of discipleship. Women who encouraged me to seek the scriptures and fall more in love with Jesus were using their platforms to fight the church’s evils but ignoring the very words of the Bible that instruct on church discipline and how to navigate restoration of fallen leaders properly. I began watching a shift encouraging disciples of #metoo and #churchtoo movements instead of disciples of Jesus.

It’s what Childers refers to in her book as a cult of personality:

“Without most of us even realizing it, much of the current evangelical church has become a cult of personality. As human beings, we tend to put people on pedestals…especially pastors. We love strength. We are drawn to power. We innately want to follow the guy [or woman] who will stand up for the truth and say what needs to be said, no matter the cost.”

I get why people are attracted to bold personalities. We want someone to stand up for the little guy: the oppressed, the weak, or the ones hurt by the church. But the problem is, sometimes we fail to see the unbiblical reactionary response of these leaders. Too often, they go ahead of Scripture or try to add to it instead of letting the Bible guide them. Regretfully, this leads their followers to hold on to their every word instead of God’s Word.

Shaped by Worldview

Alisa Childers details her journey of being confronted with another gospel known as progressive Christianity. While she describes how God led her through the big questions of her faith, I began to realize the source of my own spiritual conflict. My faith was increasingly clashing with other Christians’ beliefs, and I felt like a stranger in my own community.

The feeling of not fitting in always brings me back to my high school years. I wouldn’t call myself a social outcast, but I certainly felt lonely in my junior and senior years. I was a new student who didn’t party because I was a Christian. I had a different worldview, so my values and moral codes didn’t align with those around me. I had to choose: my faith or friends.

I remember a discussion with the guy in my Chemistry class. He called himself an agnostic, which I had no idea what that meant at the time. He wore a Grateful Dead t-shirt almost every day and bragged about his pot-smoking binges on the weekends. “Your views on sex and marriage are outdated. Good luck with that,” he teased. Thirty years later, I laugh at his statement. My views on sex and marriage are still outdated, but I have a better defense of them from the gospel on which they stand.

Those were probably the loneliest years of my life, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Those pivotal years brought me closer to God. It turned out that denying myself and following Christ was worth it. It made my faith stronger. Was it difficult? Yes. But I found the joy of my salvation and a friend through Jesus Christ “who sticks closer than a brother [or sister].” (Proverbs 18:24)

In many ways, I feel like the Christian world today is much like my high school years all over again. There’s a secular worldview that is still in conflict with my faith.  But now progressive Christianity is pushing the margins of that worldview and questioning obedience to Scripture.

Alisa Childers writes: “Through the ages, Christians have encountered unbiblical worldviews and philosophies that have competed for their obedience and loyalty. These ideologies produce the values, beliefs, and moral codes that shape culture, and their adherents almost always present them as being morally superior to Christianity. To disobey or deny these tenets can make us social outcasts.”

There is nothing easy about the world we live in. Our culture is shaping everything and everyone around us. As Christians, choosing to adhere to biblical authority often means loneliness. It means denying ourselves. And it means holding our beliefs and those Christian leaders we follow accountable to the historical truth of God’s Word.

Not Alone

After reading Alisa’s book, I decided to reread Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. His words poured encouragement into my soul about the Christian community. I realized even though I have been discouraged with leaders, authors, and ministers who are embracing progressive Christianity, at what seems an ever-increasing rate, that all is not lost.

I began to get that lump in my throat, and tug of the Holy Spirit again. I know that experiencing these lonely feelings within the Christian community is not necessarily about me. In fact, I have become more mindful of how unrighteous and unworthy I am in a community of Christ-followers. I feel desperate for how God is working inside of me and making me more aware of what Bonhoeffer describes as an “alien righteousness, a righteousness that comes from outside of us.”

“The Christian lives wholly by the truth of God’s Word in Jesus Christ. If somebody asks him, Where is your salvation, your righteousness? He can never point to himself. He points to the Word of God in Jesus Christ, which assures him salvation and righteousness.”

What I realized after reading both books is that I am not alone in the Christian community. Yes, I have growing concerns about progressive Christianity. I believe it is hurting the church and leading those in Christendom away from the true gospel. You cannot call yourself a disciple of Jesus Christ if you are more rooted in a theory, movement, or ideology that does not see Christ’s death and resurrection and God’s atonement at its center. The Cross is enough, and it always will be.

Alisa Childers’ book is a wake-up call to Christians. Her struggles with the big questions of her faith are what we need to encourage in our brothers and sisters in Christ. Know what you believe and why. Search the scriptures. Our doubts and struggles are all answered in the pages of the Bible. We don’t need to add or take anything from it. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings.” (Hebrews 13:8-9)

So, while I have felt alone in my beliefs, I can now articulate why with a new sense of hope for the Christian community. As Bonhoeffer encourages, “The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth.”

We need more present-day truth-tellers like Alisa Childers. Writers who are willing to speak the hard truths and bring Christ-followers back to the historical definition of Christianity our Savior mapped out for His disciples over 2000 years ago.

And the best part about reading Another Gospel? is that as I closed the pages of her book, I immediately wanted to dig into the pages of the true Gospel more deeply than ever before.

“It is not the experience of Christian community, but firm and certain faith within Christian community that holds us together.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

 

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There’s this saying, “You only know what you know, until you know better.” This statement accurately describes my journey of understanding abortion and the pro-life movement.

Seven years ago, when I felt God calling me to be active in the pro-life mission, I had no idea where my calling would lead me. All I knew was that I was to be obedient and try to understand as much as I could about the pro-life movement and information surrounding abortion.

It’s humbling to realize you know so little about something you may be very passionate about. I might have been a bit naïve at first. Ha! But seven years later, I can now say I know so much more about the abortion issue and the pro-life movement. And yet, sometimes, it feels like I have so much more to learn.

Here’s one thing I do know. Saying you’re pro-life is also committing to educating yourself about the overall movement. It’s about relationships and realizing many individuals and organizations have the same mission with a different focus.

As a pro-life Christian, it has been encouraging to witness more church leaders and prominent Christian voices take a stand for life. They are speaking the truth about abortion but with a compassionate, Christ-like response—that holds the life of the mother with equal compassion as the life of her unborn baby.

But I am also concerned about how some of these prominent Christian voices portray the pro-life movement. They often talk about loud, angry voices at abortion clinic sidewalks or hateful signs at Life Marches. An angry mob who doesn’t care about the women and men who face unplanned pregnancies, but only the unborn baby in the womb. That’s not the pro-life community I have come to know.

And then I learn these same Christian leaders have not educated themselves about the pro-life movement. They haven’t joined the thousands and thousands of mostly young marchers at a recent March for Life, and haven’t formed relationships within the community. They don’t know all they could— and they need to know better.

In my seven-year pro-life educational journey, I am always amazed at the compassionate response to abortion:

  • The sidewalk counselors who pray quietly for the women who will enter an abortion clinic that day. Or those who gently approach the mothers and fathers asking if they may talk with them about another alternative to abortion.
  • The pregnancy center employees and volunteers who have face-to-face conversations with abortion-vulnerable women and men. They witness tragic circumstances with crisis pregnancies but are determined to offer a compassionate, loving response no matter the outcome.
  • The numerous pro-life organizations that donate thousands and thousands of needed baby supplies to mothers who choose life and are in desperate need.
  • The church groups who make handmade baby quilts for their local pregnancy center or who donate diapers and formula.
  • The prayer warriors who stand outside government buildings and seek the throne of God over ongoing abortion legislation. Their prayers are silent in voice but passionate in their prayer-focused mission.
  • The ministries who walk through the healing process with post-abortive women and men, offering them freedom and forgiveness through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The list goes on, and I am humbled and encouraged by those who stand together in this movement called pro-life. It has profoundly affected my faith as a follower of Jesus Christ. I understand more about the grace of God because of the relationships I have formed within the pro-life community.

Are there facets of the movement who lack a Christ-like response? Yes, absolutely, but they are a small segment, and they do not represent the pro-life movement as a whole.

So here’s my challenge to pastors, leaders, and prominent Christian voices who are willing to stand openly with the message of life. Educate yourself about the pro-life movement and mission. Don’t set yourself apart before you have all the facts in front of you. Venture outside the walls of your church and denomination to build relationships with pro-life ministries. Join us in January for the March for Life, and witness the overwhelmingly compassionate, Christ-like response to abortion. Please don’t take a self-righteous posture toward the pro-life community. We need unity because even though our focus may differ, our mission is the same. And let’s all agree to keep learning and growing so we know better how to be genuinely pro-life, or Pro Abundant Life (Matthew 28:18-20) as Christ calls us to be!

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“Would you like to go pray with me outside Planned Parenthood?” my friend asked.

“Sure,” I responded.

We scheduled a day and time and put it on our calendars.

Now, this is not a regular event for me. I have never prayed outside an abortion clinic even though I support organizations and individuals who do make prayer vigils a part of their mission in reaching women, men, and the unborn.

I was a little hesitant, but I never told my friend. There are many events I have taken part in with my pro-life stance, but prayer on the “frontlines” didn’t seem like my thing.

A Sidewalk View

We arrived at Planned Parenthood and found a young woman handing out pamphlets to those driving into the clinic and quietly praying over each individual as they entered the building. We greeted her on the sidewalk and exchanged names. In our conversation, we find out this twenty-one year old has been praying on the frontlines—in the various states, she has lived in— since she was eight years old.  Wow, I wanted to reach out and hug her with pride, all while bowing my head in shame. It’s taken me forty-some years to stand alongside her.

While all three of us were talking, a woman got out of an Uber car heading toward Planned Parenthood. She was walking past us, and our new friend started to engage her in conversation. The woman was friendly and engaging. We find out she is a local university student, pregnant, and unsure of what she is going to do about her baby. She knows it is a baby. The saved photos on her cell phone reveal she’s been wondering—dreaming—about what her child might look like. She’s black, and the father is white. All four of us react with joy and awe over the beautiful faces of racially mixed babies on her phone.

She wants an ultrasound to find out how far along she is. The price of that ultrasound is an expense above what she can afford. She relays her financial struggles and her history— a refugee orphan, saved from a worn-torn African nation, no family to speak of, English is her second language.

“I have no one!” she repeats several times throughout our conversation.

This woman’s story becomes so much more than that baby inside of her. We are now silently praying for that soul within a soul.

“Do you know,” I interrupt, “that you can get an ultrasound at a pregnancy center for free?”

“For free?” she questions. “No, where is this place?”

We direct her to an address and phone number. She dials the number.

The three of us give her some space as she makes the call, and we begin to pray…

There we were—all four of us—outside Planned Parenthood. One was calling the local pregnancy center; the other three were calling on heaven to open this opportunity of rescue for this woman and her child.

An afternoon appointment was confirmed.

“Do you need a ride?” our young friend asks the student. “I am about to leave and can drive you to the pregnancy center.”

“Yes, please!” the pregnant woman responds with a French accent from her native language.

“May we pray for you?” I boldly get the nerve to ask.

She agrees, and I hold her hand.

I don’t recall the exact words, but I wanted her to know that through our prayers, God sees her. He knows her and understands her doubts, fears, and struggles. We ask God to help this woman and her baby. Her life is valued. She was born into tragic circumstances, yet God has made a way for her. She’ll graduate from a major university with a degree in a couple of months. How’s that for a refugee story!

“God, help this woman to see the hope in her life as the same hope for her baby! Amen.”

The Church’s Mission

We said our goodbyes. My friend and I walked to my car and headed home.

Our young prayer partner drove the woman to her pregnancy center appointment. I have a feeling that sidewalk conversation continued in her car, and a friendship formed. Perhaps, contact numbers were exchanged.

“I have no one,” became I have someone!

Do I think she can graduate and be a mother too? Absolutely!

However, she’s going to need a lot of help and support. Her future is uncertain, and she knows that. And honestly, we know that too.

But the three of us also know the power of the gospel. We see her life, and the life of her child through the hope of Christ. She doesn’t. All she knows is the practical steps she needs to take to afford a living for herself. Can she do it with a baby?

She will get support from the pregnancy center. They do what they do best for women with unplanned pregnancies. But they cannot do it alone.

When I got home, I continued to pray for that woman we encountered outside Planned Parenthood. She did not walk into the doors of that abortion clinic that day. For that, God be the glory!

But what now?

We shared the gospel with her on that sidewalk, but how far does it go?

Does it end at the pregnancy center?

Will the body of Christ—the church— continue the witness of that gospel in her life?

In the pro-life mission, there’s the sidewalk prayers and conversations on the frontlines, the haven of pregnancy centers, and then there’s the church. All three must work together. All three must hold each other accountable to be a witness for the gospel we preach, and the pro-life message we stand upon.

Does the church see itself as an extension of that life mission? An extension of our sidewalk conversation and the pregnancy center’s care of that woman and her baby?

Are we willing to do what we need to do so that a woman will not have to say, “I have no one. I have no choice!”

I am wrecked

I accepted a friend’s invite, and it gave me a sidewalk view. Thank you to all those who continually pray on the frontlines. For all the ways many (and there are many) in the pro-life movement bring a loving, compassionate response to women and men who arrive at an abortion clinic. You are the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. A reminder that the true gospel is lived out on the frontlines.

But I am now wrecked with a burden. What has taken me so long, and why am I not there more often?

It is my prayer that more of my brothers and sisters in Christ will venture outside of their church walls on this mission. Maybe not to the sidewalk outside of an abortion clinic, but to be an extension of support and a witness of the gospel that rescues those in need. To not only offer hope in life’s unplanned situations but to provide the eternal hope of abundant life.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. – John 10:10

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Book: No Limits: Embracing the Miraculous  

Author: Donna Sparks

Publisher: Bridge-Logos

 

Does God still perform miracles today?

My friend Donna Sparks answers this question in her new book, No Limits: Embracing the Miraculous. It is an uplifting narrative to encourage Christians that the same God— of the miraculous signs and wonders of Scripture— is alive and well through the work of the Holy Spirit today!

Through the pages of her book, Donna shares personal stories of how God is still performing miracles in the lives of others. She reveals that we serve a limitless God who brings hope to what may seem like a hopeless situation. God still heals the sick. He still restores broken relationships. And God even makes a way when there seems no way for us to go.

What I appreciate most about Donna is her ability to express the Holy Spirit’s role in performing miracles but without the fanaticism that often comes when people talk about God working supernaturally. Her sincere approach is refreshing and needed for those who are still praying for their own miracle.

No Limits will not only encourage your heart, but it will remind you that we still serve a miracle-working God!

 

Favorite Quotes:

 

“God is not just unlimited in His power, He is also unlimited when it comes to time. Time limits us, but it doesn’t limit God.”

 

“Our Lord is extremely creative. He often performs miracles in ways that cannot be attributed to anyone’s assistance or to any force on earth. But He also can demonstrate His miraculous nature and work through people by equipping and using them to bring to others the miracles they need.”

 

“The Holy Spirit is not a dull or silent guide. He desires interaction with us.”

 

 

 

 

For more information about No Limits: Embracing the Miraculous and Donna Sparks go to www.donnasparks.com 

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If there is one small glimmer of hope that has come from the state of New York’s late-term abortion bill, it’s that there is a conscience among people waking up to the evil of abortion.

But I am going to pivot from talking about that bill or even how other states are pushing forward the same type of legislation because my heart breaks for the post-abortive mothers and fathers.

What do you feel when you witness this news flooding media and social media? Are you reminded about that dreadful day? I want to know your heart, but I especially want to hear your voice.

I am not talking about those who stand by their “choice” of abortion and who have no remorse. My heart goes after those who have done the work of forgiveness before God about past abortions. Those who are walking in freedom but who share stories of regret.

I am sure it is difficult to watch both sides of the argument of abortion from your perspective. There is outrage on both sides and in the midst of it, there is your story. Perhaps, an experience that you have hidden for years and still can’t face for fear of the shame wrapped around it.

Or maybe, you have dealt with your abortion and found healing through the pain and trauma. You now walk in the freedom that can only come from the power of Jesus Christ that fills that deep sorrow with inexplicable joy.

Regardless of where you are in your healing process from abortion, today I want to encourage you.

There is a scripture that I have always read in the context of the unborn child. You often see images of this scripture in promoting the sanctity of life. But as you read it this time, let it speak to you and who you are in Christ as a post-abortive mother or father.

For you created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

When I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

Were written in your book

Before one of them came to be.  

Psalm 139:13-16

 

The character of God loves us in our most unworthy state. Nothing has been hidden from Him in our life story. He knew you before you were born and each day —even those painful, tragic days— were seen by Him. Yet, He loves us and wraps us in forgiveness when we seek it.

Just think of the contrast between abortion and that scripture. Abortion speaks the lie that there is no value in the life of the unborn, but God breathes into us worth and value by the very act of forming us in our mother’s womb. That scripture demonstrates the love of God shining through the darkness of our world.

I recently saw this post:

 

Your past abortion might have created a deep brokenness within you, but it does not define you. If you walk in freedom because you know the God of this universe has forgiven and healed you from your abortion, then live that testimony out. Speak about the lies of abortion that our world refuses to acknowledge.

Scripture has already made it clear where your identity comes from and who formed you. Be that pro-life voice that is there to love and heal those broken by abortion. Share your testimony of restoration to the post-abortive community. Only you, who have felt the physical and emotional wounds of abortion, can speak the truth to the outrage around us.

Know this, even with all the clamor and noise, your life, your story, and —your testimony— matters!

The next time you see Psalm 139: 13-14, remind yourself that it was YOU who was knit in your mother’s womb for a purpose. Share what God has done in your life—even in the regret of your past abortion. Bring healing to a world desperate to know the truth.

Your pro-life identity speaks the loudest among us because abortion is where your ministry began. Your testimony is now your pro-life identity. Be that voice!

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Remember in Snow White, when the evil queen says, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” What a blow to her self-image to learn that the fairest was Snow White.

We have all been like that queen, looking in the mirror for answers. I think it is accurate to say that we are the most critical about ourselves when we are looking in the mirror. When I was a new mother, I learned a valuable lesson about my self-image and looking for answers from my reflection.

As a teenager and into my twenties, I struggled with my looks and my confidence. I never liked what I saw in the mirror and was always trying to find ways to improve how I looked. I don’t know if a day would go by when I didn’t think about my weight, my hair, my clothes, and my need to feel worthy of the image I set in my mind of how I should look. It was a daily obsession.

I know many people can relate to this struggle. It is exhausting to live with— as a person struggling and with those witnessing it, daily, with you. My husband could only take so much of my constant questioning on how I looked, and one day he set me straight. I was having one of my many insecure days and complaining about my looks. My husband said to me, “Every day that you question yourself and me about how you look, you chip away at the confidence and self-worth of your two daughters.”

Wow! It was like the light bulb finally turned on in my head. It was one thing for me to feel personally insecure, but I definitely did not want to teach my daughters to see themselves through my insecurity. I also realized that not only was I driving my husband crazy, but I was dishonoring God, who created me. I started to understand that God sees me the same way I look upon my children.

Mothers often view their children with biased eyes. Each child has a little bit of the physical appearance of the mother and the father, and are unique in their own way. There is nothing you’d want to change about that individual, distinct appearance of your child. God is biased, too. He wouldn’t change a thing about you because he made you in His image. I realized that I wasn’t only chipping away at my own self-confidence, but I was separating myself from fully feeling the love of Christ.

I am raising my children in a society that tends to value appearance above character. They are learning that the world around them focuses on beauty, weight, fitness, and popularity. In the age of social media and selfies, it seems we can’t escape self-obsession.  If there is one thing that I can do right by my children, it is to look on myself with confidence and be proud of who God created me to be.  This might mean I have to grin and bear it when I put on a few extra pounds. I might have to realize that I will never have hair that can be advertised on a shampoo bottle. There may be days that I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see. However, I have learned that it isn’t about me. It is about my children who need to feel loved and confident. It is about my relationship with Christ and feeling worthy of the honor of His creation—ME!

My children will have days of doubt and insecurity. We all do on occasion. But I know NOW that I do not want to be an example of insecurity for my kids. I want them to know that Mom is happy in her own skin— in who God created her to be— and they should be too.

I no longer dwell on the things I cannot change, so that my children will realize they were created with a purpose— both inside and out.